
I was talking to somebody the other evening who feels trapped by the life they own, that has been carved out by chance and little decisions. There were regrets and there were good things. Sadly there was also the feeling that nothing could be changed. Augustine was deeply changed by his encounter with God - and later reflected on the regret he felt at having taken so long to realise that a revolutionary, refreshing change was possible. Augustine knew the mixing of sadness and relief that characterises so much of modern life, he realised that much of his regrets flowed from playing with the beautiful things in this life, which only exist becasue of the beautiful God who made them. He prayed to the God who changed his regrets into wonderings-
"Too late did I love You, O Beauty, so ancient, and yet so new! Too late did I love You, For You were inside, and I was outside, and there did I seek You; I, unattractive, rushed heedlessly among the things of beauty You made. You were with me, but I was not with you. Those things kept me far from You, which, unless they were in You, could not exist. You called me, you shouted at me, and forced open my deaf ears. You shone light and chased away my blindness. Thou gave fresh air, and I drew in my breath and I do pant after You. I tasted, and I hunger and thirst. Thou did touch me, and I burned for Your peace."
Confessions Book 10 Chapter 27